I take my chances on everyday: July 2008

It's been a while since I've written anything. The long absences aren't due to a lack of things in my life. I think the absences occur because so much of what I need to express is negative. I began this foray into blogging as a way to share tidbits of fun and excitement, more so lately I use it as a vehicle that allows me to vent much of what I tend to compartmentalize. I am one who withholds information and then, BOOM!, out at once! So, BOOM! ya'll......here goes!

CINDY

For many of you, Cindy is a name seen often in this blog and heard many times in countless stories from my youth to adulthood. Many of my memories contain her image. I find it hard to talk about past events without mentioning her name. I've known her for over 25 years. She inhabits much of my existance. Preschool, elementary school, birthdays, deaths, fights, graduations....right up to her wedding.

That is until her wedding. For some inexplicable reason, in May, I received an email stating I didn't seem as excited as I once was for her wedding and therefore, she would understand if I didn't want to be a part of her special day. Through emails, which I think is cowardly and a bit childish, we decided to part ways. She has made peace with the situation and isn't angry (or so she says). I am remaining ambivolent. I was seething during those few days after her email and subsequent phone call (48 hours later). But, as time goes on, I realize that I can survive without her friendship and that life does go on. In fact, life moves faster and appears brighter.

Perhaps it was for the best. I truly have found peace in the fact that we are no longer friends and have come to the realization that there will never be a reconciliation. Too much is broken and too many hurtful things were said. I do hold many of our memories dear, they do make up much of who I am today but I am not at all sad that new memories will not be made. I have more than enough friends and enough family to fill and overflow any void her absence has caused.

ANNAPOLIS
For many, you are aware that I've moved. Lindsey and I terminated our lease in the Hell hole in Ellicott City and found a lovely two bedroom townhouse in Annapolis. I am so glad we moved, it is a welcome change and has provided many new opportunites. The downtown area is lovely and the urban/city feel is ideal. Lindsey and I have explored new places and I've met new people which is lovely.

SHANNON

Shannon DeCriscio and her husband Michael just had a beautiful baby girl named Sara. I visited them recently and, while Shannon doesn't believe it, I envy her life. She has a fantastic husband who is "fond" of her, two rambucious and adorable sons, and a beautiful daughter. Sitting on her couch with the boys next to me and Sara fussing in my arms filled me with such contentment. Don't get me wrong, I like single life and the freedom it posesses, but there is envy for the joy and love seen in the eyes of all in that family. I think I will have to visit often!

FRIENDS

As I mentioned previously I have friend and family that are so bountiful in my life. Sadly, one of my friends, Nikkie, is moving home to New York in just a couple of weeks and it is bittersweet. I'm happy for her since she found a great new job and has the opportunity to move home, but sad as we just became close friends. I look forward though, to our Myspace chats and weekly calls. She will be missed. Here are some photos from our trip to Annapolis, as we cram in all we can before she leaves.